Submission-the mystery revealed.

The meaning of submission came to me in one of those “oh, duh!” moments when I realized that the word could be broken down into “sub” and “mission”. Then, in my brilliance, I saw that submission means “under -mission”. I concluded that to be submissive meant to be a willing participate with someone else’s mission. Understanding submission in this way helps me to decide where I will be submissive and where I will not. If I have a choice in the matter, I can say that I do or do not agree with the vision of a particular organization (you name it–church, job, ministry, etc) and then decide if I am willing to be submissive to that vision.

Personal Affirmation and Church

This is an addendum to my last post. I have always looked to churches, not Christ, as a source of affirmation. I have sought to be recognized as important within the organizational structure, particularly in playing and leading music. I guess I thought that having affirmation as a musician or even a teacher would provide a sense of self worth. My Lord has sheltered me from this. It appears that at every turn I have run into brick walls. No one has recognized my greatness…Thank God!

I am sure that my longing for affirmation within a church is not a singular event. If the truth be known, it may possibly be the driving force behind many of us when we join a local parish. Do not misunderstand me. I do believe that God uses people to bolster our self-esteem. He has made us relational at the core. Earthly relationships, when properly placed in our walk, are part of His plan. However, when, like me, people seek others solely for affirmation, the desire is never completely filled. The sense that “this is not enough” looms over like a burning blimp.

I have just been set free from this. After years of butting my head against brick walls, I finally realize that the people I idolized are human and will let me down-human affirmation fails. God is showing me that He is my all. He wants to me to have Him as my prized relationship. It has been a very painful journey, but I am looking forward to the future, to today.

Church and the common denominator-humans

Apart from all the doctrinal and stylistic differences that are taught in any given independent church or denomination, which can admittedly be vastly different, the human element remains. My personal experience is that this denominator delineates many of the overt differences in churches when it comes to participating. I was raised in a church where my father was a deacon, Sunday school teacher, song leader, and eventually an elder. Since that time I have been involved with at least seven other churches. Four of these I have been participated in music and/or  leading small groups. I have always been somewhat close to the overseeing leadership or have been close enough to hear or “sense” what is going on. Here are some of my observations.

People appear to like power, to be in a leadership position. I am no exception. I have wanted to have influence. Fortunately, God has not let me have to many leadership positions. However, leadership in most of the churches I have participated in does not like to be questioned about much of anything. Start poking around and see what happens. I usually find resistance. I have been told that if I questioned the leadership then maybe I need to consider moving on to somewhere else. Church leadership has a way of stating things in a way that make parishioners feel as if I was questioning God Himself. Recently I expressed my discontent with the past hiring of worship pastors and the way the current search was being undertaken. I stated what I felt was best. I also communicated that I felt that I could do the job. I was then was told that I did not have the experience needed, but, if I could “submit” to the leadership that I might could participate. I was even told that the church wanted someone with my level of talent and my vision, but was told that I did not have enough ‘tested leadership in a large church environment.’ This happened after I had been trying to plug in to the music ministry for over a year.

Lifestyle is spiritual. In one church I attended if a person home schooled, or made their bread from home ground wheat, or spoke in tongues, or could prophesy, then that person was looked up to as spiritual. They were closer to God than the rest of us. Though this was not stated it was easily inferred. When, all of a sudden, a person “received” the a gift of the Holy Spirit that person felt more spiritual. They seemed to feel part of the in crowd.

I have fallen prey. I have personally been “victim” of this. I have given into believing that the anointed pastor was actually closer to God than I could ever be. I came to believe that if I were somehow closer to the pastor, leadership, or whomever, that I might actually become closer to God. Because, after all, they have the words of God and the teaching that I need and cannot get without whoever it is. As a result, many people have become idols in my life. I have been envious.

The good news is that God has broken me of this recently. He has shown me that Jesus is the God to look upon. Jesus is the one to imitate. Everyone else is simply human. Everyone of us is struggling to know Christ in all of His Glory. Christ is continually putting me through suffering to show me to trust in Him alone for guidance. It is a painful lesson to learn. It can be lonely. In a world where I have wanted recognition, I get little if any. Where I want to be close to the powerful, I am not. When I try to build my own ministry, it never happens. Where I want friends, I am lonely. This is my experience.

My experience is no that of others so I do not know if they pushed their way to the top or if God put them there. Either way He has allowed it. Though, I am often jealous, I suppose that I should be grateful that He has protected me. Thankful that He is preparing me. That he has been gracious enough to answer my deepest longings to know Him alone as Lord.

We are all human and the darkest sins of humanity are present even where we expect them not, church. Expect disappointment, disillusionment, greed, power struggle, know-it-alls, people with closed minds and ears, loneliness, heartache, fear, and betrayal. Find somewhere and dig in. Be malleable, humble but speak your mind in love. Let the chips fall where they may and listen for the Supreme voice as the coins clank on the cold floor into silence.

Music: The divine and secular.

What I hope to present here is my perspective on music in general; more specifically, why we have music and the influence it can have in our lives. Unlike many things in life music is not something I see as a neutral. I will develop why I believe this to be true. As someone who has a degree in music, has played an instrument for over 23 years, and as listened to and sang music for as long as I can remember, I have thought deeply about this matter. I wish the reader of this to do the same.

The first thing I would like to establish is that music is eternal. It has been before the world began and will continue to be after it is gone. In the book of Job chapter 38 verses 6 and 7 God asks Job about the creation of the world: “On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone–while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?” I do not think it much of a stretch to say that music was part of or active at the creation of the world. Then, in Revelation there are numerous accounts of music being used in heaven to worship. I think it is plausible to say that music is eternal. Moreover, if music is eternally used to worship God, then it is reasonable to assume that Satan would want to be worshiped with music.

Now, a question can be proposed about this that is difficult for me to answer concretely. If both God and Satan are worshiped with music, is all music worship to one or the other? What about the music that is not written to explicitly to worship either God or Satan? Or another way of stating the question–is all music of eternal consequence? Is there some that glorifies neither? I am not sure I can answer completely. But again, my purpose here is to get us to think about the influence of music in our lives.

At this point in my life I would say that music is either for God or not. I say this because, honestly, I am easily influenced. Being a musician and lover of music I listen to music and lyrics over and over. My experience tells me that I am easily programmed by music. I am  easily influenced by music and can even begin to model in my daily life what is being sung. A counselor once told me that music bypasses rational thought and taps into our limbic (primitive) brains. You ever heard a song not heard in years and been transported to an earlier time and place? It is that kind of thing.

Now I realize that not everyone is like me in regards to music and it being influential in everyday life. Some people do not even pay attention to lyrics and like the beat and the instrumental work. I appreciate that. But let us once again turn our focus to the music that does not seem to overtly glorify God or Satan.

Country music is often stereotyped with married partners being cheated on and honky tonkin’. One more recent country song “Stay” sung by Sugarland is about the out of wedlock lover longing for a married man to leave the marriage and be with her. View the lyrics here http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/sugarland/stay-18495.html It is undoubtedly a powerful and emotive song. It points to a reality that happens in our culture. It is a convincing outpouring of disparateness. Is this a good influence? I say no. I suppose someone could say “hey, if you are thinking of having an affair, listen to this song. This may be how you end up. Is this what you want in your life?” However, I daresay that the targeted audience is women who are in or have been in this situation. In either case it would could validate the feelings of someone in an affair or drag someone back into feelings left behind. I guess I am saying listener beware.

Rock music is no different. Much of it advocates a lifestyle that is not Christian. The songs that appear more neutral rarely point to Christ as a way out of difficult circumstances.

I am running out of steam. Maybe I’ll share more later. I hope I have given you some food for thought. Enjoy your day.

Dying to Love

I suppose this title could be read two ways. One focuses on dying. I die to myself so that I can love. The second is that a person is dying to the concept of love. I am going to focus on the former.

Marriage is tough. It cannot properly function unless the husband and wife die to themselves. Furthermore, marriage cannot function properly unless it follows the biblical model. That model is simply that the husband is under the direct authority of Christ. The husband serves his wife as Christ served the church. He is to “give himself up for her” or die to himself for her. The wife is then to submit to the husband as she would submit to Christ. The key here is an understanding of biblical authority and submission. Unless both the husband and the wife are fulfilling their roles to the best of their ability, then the marriage suffers greatly.

What is interesting to me in this biblical model is that the wife derives much of her spiritual life from her husband, assuming that her husband is fully submitted to Christ. Essentially, the husband is to be Christ to his wife. I dare not expound on this. The possibilities are endless and arguments as to what it means to actually be Christ as a husband would be varied. I can take no sides. Let each person work this out with fear and trembling.

From personal experience, I can say that this has played a large role in many of the breakdowns in my marriage. When I try to lord over my wife, she rebels. When I consider her needs, she opens up and becomes more receptive to what I think about things in our marriage and her life.

This all means that the husband must die to himself in order that he may love his wife. Why? Because it is Christ only who can fill his or his wife’s love needs. Christ is who she needs and I can almost guarantee that any woman loved with the genuine love of Christ will submit to her husband. Why? Because she wants the love of Christ. Her deepest needs are being met.

I for one have failed at this. I have suffered for it. So has my wife. I guess if I see that my wife is looking elsewhere in the world for acceptance than I need to look at myself to see where I am falling short. The real crux of the matter is that only Christ can meet anyone’s need. If I look to my wife to meet my needs…disaster. If she looks to me…disaster.

Thanks for reading.

Popular Culture: Being lulled to sleep.

I have some concerns about some elements of our pop culture today, particularly media, entertainment, and new forms of communication. Examples of these are TV, secular music, cell phones, text messaging, email, Facebook, etc. My concern is that these technologies open up little and seemingly tiny cracks for being lured to believing that somethings are OK, which are really not.

From the outset let me clear. These are my opinions for myself; my views, how I live my life, and they may or may not be for you. I put this stuff out there for fodder. It helps me process.

When it comes to these types of things (things about which, I as a Christian, have a choice) Iscripture gives much leeway to the individual–loose guidelines, if you will. Statements like “all things are permissible, but not all things are profitable” and “whatever is pure and lovely…dwell on these things” leave various shades of gray, no doubt. However, when you add to this thought process “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, MIND, and strength” then clarity begins to come. I should do only those permissible things which are profitable in helping me to love my Lord with all my heart and my neighbor..This is, in simple form, the basis of my philosophy.

I own a TV set. We do no get cable, satellite, or even local channels. That was my decision. I now wonder how I had the time to ever watch the thing. I am not a total prude, though. The kids do have a Wii and watch movies from time to time. My problem with TV is that I do not feel safe letting my kids watch even a football game for the commercials. Most of the commercials are very sexually charged, sometimes bordering on soft porn. Forget the kids, I do not need to see it. Same goes for movies. I have to be careful.

Secular music is something that I am currently wrestling with. Simply put, a house divided cannot stand and if you are not for me then you are against me. Let me say first, as one who holds a performance degree in music, that not all secular music is bad. But, and it is a big BUT, music, in my opinion is not neutral. Music is something that is eternal. There is not a subject that is more prolific in scripture . For example, Psalms is an entire book of music and lyrics. Music exists to worship God.We exist to worship. Satan hates us and God. He tries to receive worship or move it away from God. So then, if music is not drawing a person to God, not engaging our mind to worship God, not encouraging us in the Lord, should we be listening? Obviously, not enough space here to develop a good dialogue or argument. If you pray and ask God what He wants you to listen to, He will faithfully answer. Trust me, get on your knees with your favorite secular CD and ask your Lord if it honors Him. The very thought of this makes me start making excuses for what I listen to. Try it.

I am going to lump cell phones and computer communication into this last paragraph. Sometimes I like to think simply to cut through all of the chatter. Here is my simple thought. If I, being married, would not want my wife to know who I was communicating with should I being doing it? Hmmmm…? Or, if I would not allow a particular person to call my house and ask for me on my home phone (soon to be a thing from the past) should I communicate with them via cell or online? I do not think so. However, cell technology and programs such as Facebook make this behavior easy.  These kind of actions seem normal–everyone is doing it, right! We are warned to not be lulled to sleep. It is so easy for me to think “oh I’m just catching up with some old friends.” That is fine and good, but one must be careful, I think. Pray about who God wants you to communicate with. Seriously, He will faithfully answer.

Being “in the world, but not of it” is a tenuous balance. Salt and light. The flavor enhancing and light giving people in a bland and dark world. I am trying to uncover how to love my Lord in this ever changing world. What can I shed to make more room? What is it that I do not need? Do I really need electronic binary bumperstickers on MySpace and Facebook? Do I really want to know that so-and-so is watching Lost on TV? Or maybe I am making an excuse for not having people physically in my living room because we are all together updating our statuses. Geez, I do not know. Something just does not sit well. It makes me uneasy.

Once again, thanks to the devoted few…

Jesus! why He prayed so much?

I feel like sharing some scattered thoughts about Jesus and His humanity. I often, and for good reason, put Jesus up on a high pedestal, forgetting what He must have experienced as a man living out His Father’s will. The lofty, transparent story is this; that Jesus was born and we have presents at Christmas, that Jesus did some cool miracles to prove He was God, that Jesus made some people mad so they killed Him on the cross; that, in the end, Jesus gets to say “I told you so” because He was resurrected. Simply put, John 3:16. All of this is true and wonderful, but there is more I think. Don’t you?

You see, scripture teaches us that Jesus was fully man and fully God. Furthermore, that He chose to lay down His deity to be a man while on earth. See Philippians’s chapter 2. Here is what I really want to get at, that Jesus rarely found earthly comfort as a man. I have been thinking that this is why He prayed so much. Those of you who know the stories about Jesus, ponder a moment and think  of some times when Jesus was validated on earth by humans. Hmmmm….I can think of a few, then again, upon a casual mental scan, it seems to me that most of the time someone was in the background plotting or grumbling about the things He said or did. This is why He prayed. Jesus found His relational security with ONLY God the Father. Go ahead, name one fully stable and comforting relationship that Jesus had with a person. Come on now, just one! I cannot think of any.

To the world Jesus must have seemed like an unstable guy and I think He must of known this–another reason He prayed. Think of the things that Jesus said and did for a while. Imagine yourself challenging the establishment without anyone to truly understand and give support. See what I am seeing?

What’s more is that everything Jesus did culminated in the cross. (Something by the way He was willing to do, but did not really want to do. See Gethsemane.) God was telling Jesus to do and say things that would upset people. Imagine yourself doing this all the time. Yeah, some people liked the miracles and that is cool, but even the fact that He could do the miracles made Him different than everyone else. This is why He prayed. Imagine yourself saying to yourself and then to some friends “hey, on Easter Sunday, I am going to get all dressed up, go to the biggest and most celebrated church in the USA and tell everyone that I am Christ, the Second Coming is here!” To me that is what He did when He rode into the city and everyone yelled Hosanna!

I cannot fathom having the fortitude to do something like this. Hate to end this but work is beckoning! Really, this is why Jesus prayed. No one understood Him but the Father and He was OK with it. Blessings!

The Devil and Distraction

I have been doing some soul-searching. You know, the nasty kind of self examination where God gives you His perspective about your life. When for a few moments or days you become detached from your life and you see the gunk in it. I came to realize a few things, mostly about things I had accumulated or things believed. I came to see that it is all clutter. As an elderly lady put it, “it’s all junk.” Or as my neighbor said in reference to his wife’s death due to cancer. “Relationships are temporary.”

In my brilliance I have come to the conclusion that most of what I have striven for in my life has been pretty worthless. Let’s face up to reality here. I have devoted the better part of half of my life trying to please my wife and my marriage is temporary–earthly. Relationships with people, even great ones end on earth (I do not know about how things go in the afterlife) in sadness , a melancholy longing for what was. Bad relationships end in bitterness. All are temporary and ultimately will not sustain me emotionally. God intends for us to get all of this from Him.

Material things are an anathema. I know someone who has worked long and hard in their profession. So, they wanted something to show for it. A BMW was bought. Are they any happier? From my estimation, not really. I guess they might have people say “cool car” or “I have always wanted one.” But I do not think that the car will prolong life, health, inner peace, or anything for that matter. It’s fun to drive for sure, but it comes with a price. Same for everything we own. The more we own, the more we have to take care of. The nicer the things we own. The more it costs to take care of and the more we worry about it.

Now for the punch line of this here blog. All the devil needs to do is distract us. We Christians like to point fingers at those committing the heinous sins, but fail to see how we are distracted with all of our stuff . Cell phones, movies, ipods, iphones, pdas, laptops, clothes, hair, make-up, curtains, bookends, legos, Batman and Robin, the next movie sequel, shoes, perfumes, deodarant, which olive oil is really the best, 30 minute meals, lawnmowers, decks, politics, rubbermaid, parties, the lingering taste of black cherries in the bottle of wine, or the best of the best of the best, nothing else will do, I know what the best is, look at the way she dresses, if they would just see things my way, on and on and on…

Distraction is as simple as a thought like “look at that license plate” or “look at that car isn’t that a pretty color of red.” That is all it takes to get our mind trailing on to something-fantasizing. I think Satan’s ploy is to simply get our mind ’s off God and things eternal. Simply, consistently he nudges this and that way. He is not in a hurry. Neil Anderson uses the analogy of a frog in a pot of water. The amphibian does not realize the water is too hot until he’s cooked.

One of the most effective and the absolute oldest means of distraction Satan will use, in my estimation, is the simple phrase that he used in the Garden of Eden “Did God really say…” To which we oblige, surely God would not want me to do that. After all it’s not rational. No one does it that way. Why I’d look silly. People would talk. What if I failed. Yeah, that was just silly to think God would ask me to do that.

Distraction! It is simple, seemingly noninvasive, but very dangerous. Buyer beware!

Trust & Freedom: Proverbs & Romans

Proverbs 3 and Romans 7 contain some very familiar scriptures. Proverbs 3 is about trusting God and Romans 7 is that confusing passage where I could never figure out what Paul was doing. He’s like doing what he wants when he doesn’t want to and not doing what he wants when he doesn’t want to, but it’s not him doing it. So, I’ve always had a hard time figuring out what he was really saying. I digress.

Anyway, I think as Christians we are supposed to have this neutrality towards self. Here’s what I mean. Proverbs 3:5-6 or 7 says to Trust God, lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge God in whatever we do and God will show us the right path.

Here is my interpretation. I am to trust God to give me direction. That’s easy enough to understand. But then, to trust Him means that I do not lean on my own understanding. Even though I might know all the pros and cons of a circumstance, I cannot use that information in place of seeking and trusting God. I keep trusting God to show me the right path. It’s not up to me to determine the right path. That is God’s responsibility. He will show me direction and make my life straight. I am not sure that I am articulating the freedom that is in this passage, but it is there as it is also in Roman’s 7.

Roman’s 7 has always confused me until recently. What Paul is trying to say in all the “do” phrases is communicate that we are free indeed. Though worldly analogies are flawed, I’ll give one a go to illustrate. Before Christ my spirit was in a cell inside a prison (or concentration camp). After Christ the cell door has been opened and I have been given the mind of Christ. I am free. However, I still have to walk out of the prison and live freely. Now during my incarceration I have learned to live in slavery, under someone else’s rule.

In reality, I am starved for nutritious food. I do not have a vocation, home, or family for this new freedom. What this means is that I have some things to overcome despite my freedom. But it is not my freedom causing the problem. It is my former slavery. And, AMEN AND HALLELUIAH!, I am not judged by what I now do as a result of my former life as a slave. That is why Paul says he does what he does not want. The old sin nature has residual effects. He sees this evil in him, but is aware of the new mind of Christ he is given because of his desire to do good.

The communication is freedom. Since coming to know Christ everything is taking care of. The old slave has been replaced by the new man. The old ways of the slave man have been payed for, past present and future. I AM NO LONGER JUDGED FOR ANY OF THESE, INCLUDING MY ACTIVE SINS! God is now responsible to change my desires.

Does he want me to mature in my shortcomings? Well, yes. But my freedom is not contingent upon my maturation. I am free but I still need to mature. Furthermore, I am not to worry or fret about being judged about the sin in my life as I mature. I mean, this is a revelation to me. You mean when I think about all of my shortcomings, like eating too much, I am not judged and my relationship with God is not changed? Absolutely not, I think. Would not that minimize what Christ did?

Well, I am going to finish up by saying that we need to trust wholly in the freedom that Christ has given us. He gives us this through his sacrifice; moreover, we can have confidence that He is trustworthy when it comes to our lives from our everyday provisions to our future. PRAISE BE!

Jesus, is that really you?

Of late my perceptions of Jesus have been challenged. I guess the predominant image of Him that I carried in my mind was of this effeminate guy who got really mad once and threw some people out of the temple for ripping people off with bad exchange rates and poor quality sacrifices. I mean come on, what kind of man just lets people accuse him and beat the crap out of him unjustifiably right?

Turns out, there is this vast satanic conspiracy to misconstrue who the real Jesus was and is. Seriously, though Jesus was truly meek (which by the way means that He was very powerful, yet chose to be gentle!) He was also very ballsy. Jesus knew who He was and made no excuses.  He was not afraid of confrontation. He stuck up for women and children. He could be himself no matter what even when being laughed at.

Here’s a couple of examples. Jesus went into this Pharisee’s house to eat dinner. This Pharisee was amazed that Jesus did not wash His hands before He ate. So Jesus decides He would go on a tirade about how these Pharisees were concerned with things external. I mean that is rude, Jesus. This guy asks you to dinner and you are rude?

Second example. In Mark 5 we learn of when Jesus was asked to come cure the synagogue ruler’s daughter. While He was on His way to the house someone came and said she was dead. He went anyway. When He got to the house all these people were mourning. Jesus, being Himself, says that she’s not dead but asleep. Then all these “mourners” laugh Jesus to scorn. So here’s Jesus being laughed at with his best friends Peter, James, and John. So what does Jesus do. Well He is certainly not very nice. He threw all the mourners out of the house. That’s right, little ole prissy Jesus kicked some people out of someone else’s house after they laughed and made a mockery of Him. Not so prissy.

Actually, Jesus was a man’s man. It takes a real man to not be defensive in the face of adversity. That’s why He said turn the other cheek. It’s not “ouch that really hurt my left cheek, I guess you can hit the other one.” Rather it’s “hey man, you blacked that eye. Go ahead, black the other one. I can take it.” Or, I do not need to answer to you Herod or Pilot. I am right. I do not care what you do to me I am following my Daddy’s will no matter what. So what does it matter what you think?!”