Dying to Love
I suppose this title could be read two ways. One focuses on dying. I die to myself so that I can love. The second is that a person is dying to the concept of love. I am going to focus on the former.
Marriage is tough. It cannot properly function unless the husband and wife die to themselves. Furthermore, marriage cannot function properly unless it follows the biblical model. That model is simply that the husband is under the direct authority of Christ. The husband serves his wife as Christ served the church. He is to “give himself up for her” or die to himself for her. The wife is then to submit to the husband as she would submit to Christ. The key here is an understanding of biblical authority and submission. Unless both the husband and the wife are fulfilling their roles to the best of their ability, then the marriage suffers greatly.
What is interesting to me in this biblical model is that the wife derives much of her spiritual life from her husband, assuming that her husband is fully submitted to Christ. Essentially, the husband is to be Christ to his wife. I dare not expound on this. The possibilities are endless and arguments as to what it means to actually be Christ as a husband would be varied. I can take no sides. Let each person work this out with fear and trembling.
From personal experience, I can say that this has played a large role in many of the breakdowns in my marriage. When I try to lord over my wife, she rebels. When I consider her needs, she opens up and becomes more receptive to what I think about things in our marriage and her life.
This all means that the husband must die to himself in order that he may love his wife. Why? Because it is Christ only who can fill his or his wife’s love needs. Christ is who she needs and I can almost guarantee that any woman loved with the genuine love of Christ will submit to her husband. Why? Because she wants the love of Christ. Her deepest needs are being met.
I for one have failed at this. I have suffered for it. So has my wife. I guess if I see that my wife is looking elsewhere in the world for acceptance than I need to look at myself to see where I am falling short. The real crux of the matter is that only Christ can meet anyone’s need. If I look to my wife to meet my needs…disaster. If she looks to me…disaster.
Thanks for reading.
